Struggling with motherhood? Discover 3 common lies moms are told-and the powerful truth from Scripture that brings peace and purpose.
Common Lies About Motherhood
“You will ruin your life if you have a child.”
“Your kids will get in the way of your dreams.”
“ You’re not doing enough!”
The underlying message- you won’t be happy.
These are all lies that the world tells women, whether before they have a child, during pregnancy, or even after they’ve had their baby. But how many of us believe this on a subconscious level! We actually come to believe some of these lies. Many women come to hate motherhood, and fail to see the many blessings of motherhood. So let us run through some of these and debunk them with biblical truth.
First of all we need to address some facts about motherhood in general. Yes. Motherhood is hard. No. It is not a place to grow in selfishness and pout when our children get in our way. Motherhood is a fertile ground for growth in humility and selflessness. God intended it that way, difficult but interwoven with so much beauty. There is beauty in difficulty. There is beauty in sweat, blood, and tears poured out for another, all it takes is one look at the sacrifice our Lord made for us on the cross.
Why does the beauty of biblical motherhood, get lost?
This beauty gets lost because we live in a society that tells us that pleasure is king, and that we are to do what feels good and right for us. So, naturally, children implying self sacrifice and dying to one self begins to look less and less attractive. We must stand firm in this truth. We are called to lay down our lives for another.
“Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.” – John 15:13
It is important to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ.
Lie: “You will ruin your life if you have a child.”
Truth: “Lo, sons are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” – Psalm 127:3
In the bible we clearly read that God has given us our children as a reward. Our children are described as a reward, and as a heritage from the Lord. God has intended children to be a blessing in our lives, not to be a source of destruction.
Lie: “Your kids will get in the way of your dreams.”
Truth: “She considers a field and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.” – Proverbs 31:16
Oftentimes we begin to feel trapped, we begin to feel like we won’t be able to pursue anything in our lives because of our children. Oftentimes it is our attitude that prevents us from flourishing in our lives due to our sour attitudes about motherhood. Consider the scripture verse above, the Proverbs 31 woman is not described as idle, nor “dreamless.” She is described as a wise woman, who brings prosperity to her family through her service and love of them. After buying a field that she considered to be beneficial for her family, she plants a vineyard with the fruit of her hands. Motherhood pushes us to look and seek for things that otherwise may not be too pressing on our hearts. It is the spark that can lead us to greatness, when we strive to follow God’s Will for our lives. If we let the lies of the world and the evil one consume us then that’s when we begin to shrink when faced with the beautiful vocation we have been called to.
Lie: “You’re not doing enough!”
Truth: “But Martha was distracted with much serving; and she went to him and said, “Lord, do you not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Tell her then to help me.” But the Lord answered her, “Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.” – Luke 10: 40 – 42
One word, SUPERMOM. A lot of us are stuck in super mom mode, we begin to idolize this perfect version of ourselves where we are the perfect mom. We have everything under control, our kids are always perfectly showered, we always have delicious homemade meals ready, the house is spotless, our children are perfectly well behaved, we are all growing in holiness and everyone’s faith in the family is on the same level and growing in tandem.
This scripture verse has always spoken directly to my heart, because this is one I personally struggle with, and I suspect you may too. We want to do all the time, and we do. We are constantly going, constantly planning, our minds filled with racing thoughts, to the point that we begin to experience anxiety in motherhood. The Lord’s response is beautiful when Martha reproaches to the Lord whether He cares that she has been left alone to shoulder the burden of serving.
“Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things; one thing is needful. Mary has chosen the good portion, which shall not be taken away from her.”
Let us remind ourselves that the Lord does not expect us to be supermoms, that is a standard and expectation we have put on ourselves. He has however, made very clear to us that what is needful is to come to Him, to stop once in a while, and sit at his feet to listen and let ourselves be replenished by His word.
Final Thoughts and Encouragement
If these are some of the thoughts you struggle with, I invite you to meditate on these verses, and ask the Lord to give you the strength and wisdom to change your view, and to bring these destructive thoughts to the foot of the cross so that He can bind them. I am praying for you.
“Fear not, for I am with you, be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand.” – Isaiah 41:10
I encourage you to ask the Blessed Mother – being a mother herself – to intercede for you on your behalf to the Lord Our God, for strength and courage on this journey. You can pray the Litany of Loreto here.
If this touched your heart, please share it with another mama who needs to hear the truth today.
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